SIXTYCENTSPLEASE

2012-02-21T13:32:00.002+08:00

i know that i’m not always a walk in the park. i know i make mistakes and i have my moments. we both say things that we shouldn’t but we always make up afterwards, sometimes right away, sometimes not for a while. the important thing is that we’ve never let any of that get in between us. i know that there are times when i’m a headache. sometimes we get into fights over stupid things. i know that i have insecurities to get over, i’m working on it. our relationship may have a number of disagreements and we may not always be lovey-dovey, but this relationship is also the realest thing that i have ever had. i know we can’t promise to never fight again, but i can promise you that i won’t ever stop fighting FOR you. i’m not giving up on something that i believe in, something that so many people have faith in. no one could ever make me feel as upset, frustrated, angry, or sad as you do at times. but no one could ever make me feel as happy, amazing, loved, or cared for the way that you do. our relationship is a roller coaster. but i can’t imagine being on this crazy ride with anyone else but you.

i just can’t help but feel like i am the reason for all of our problems.

2012-02-21T13:28:00.000+08:00

all the things that i think of somehow go back to me. it goes back to my insecurities, flaws, paranoia, and constant worrying. i think about literally everything and i over-analyze the little details. all the stuff i’ve been doing causes the fights and the arguments. we keep going around in this same cycle and i hate it. fight, make up, fight make up. i want to fix it and not argue about the same thing we did last week. i want to fix it and move on from it and never have it brought up again. i know i mess up a lot more than i like to admit and you have every reason to hate me for it. i want to be better and i want to make you happy but i can’t help but feel like i let all the constant fighting stop me from remembering how. maybe it’s normal and fights are healthy but i still dislike them and it makes me really upset to know that i cause a good majority of them. i take out all this anger and frustration and stress out on you and that’s not fair. i wish i could go back to being the girl you fell in love with again because i’m beginning to hate the person i’ve become. all i can do is apologize for it, make things better, make myself better and pray that you stay because i need you the most right now.

Happy Seventeen, Fiona

2012-02-20T23:31:00.002+08:00

Happy seventeen birthday my dearest cousin!

it’s actually just so nice to have a blog that no one really knows about.

2012-02-20T23:27:00.001+08:00

i can vent more on it and get more personal. things that i just need to let out. i don’t want everyone reading about it or worrying over things, i just need to write sometimes for myself. i don’t need people seeing it or reading about it. i don’t need people i know looking around for it. it’s just a place where i can write openly without having to worry about other people judging me or assuming things out of it. it’s actually really nice. it’s something i need, i don’t need people knowing about everything that i’m dealing with. this is just something for me.

That guilt feeling you have...

2012-02-18T23:01:00.000+08:00

When you lie to someone because you’re afraid of hurting them, you’re afraid of how they’ll react to it, you’re afraid that they’ll leave you because you lied. But when they find out that you lied to them, all of hell breaks loose & you don’t know how to explain yourself. They’re just sitting there heartbroken & hurt & you’re just sitting there not knowing what to say to them. You just didn’t want to hurt them in the first place but you ended up hurting them even more because they had to find out themselves that you lied…

:'(

2012-02-18T22:59:00.000+08:00

So today I was in Hallmark when I noticed this old man stnding in front of the Valentines card section contemplating which one to get. I decide to go over and I ask him “Are you getting a Valentine’s Day for your wife?” in which he replies ‘No my wife died 3 years ago from breast cancer but I still buy her roses and a card and bring them to her grave to prove to her that she was the only one that will ever have my heart’

A relationship like that

2012-02-18T12:40:00.001+08:00

Do you want to know why i am such a sap for romance? Do you want to know why i am such a believer in finding that one person to spend the rest of your life with? Do you want to know why i have such a big heart? It’s because of these two people. My parents have been married for 25 years, they have put up with so much but you know what, they’re still in love. They have been through so much, so much to the point where they nearly got a divorce, but they stuck it out and you know what, they’re still in love and happily married. I want what my parents have because i know that it’s possible. It’s not always going to be a smooth ride, but a fairytale kind of love can happen. I know who i want my happily ever after with.

i am more excited about giving babe his surprise than receiving mine.

2012-02-14T23:45:00.002+08:00

I don’t think valentine’s day should just be a day where the girl waits for the guy to do all this stuff for her. I’m excited to give Jun his valentine’s day surprise because he’s been such a great boyfriend to me for the past year and he deserves it. I’m not expecting to be swept off my feet because the fact that he’s giving up his time to spend the day with me already means so much. Idon’t need him to take me out to a fancy dinner, i want him to save it. For me, tomorrow isn’t about presents or who got the better gift, it’s about us realizing how truly lucky we are to have found each other and fallen in love with a person, accepting them for all that they are and being loved back the exact same way. I hope he likes his surprises!

since it is our first valentine’s day as a couple, i want to surprise you.

2012-02-14T23:43:00.001+08:00

I've got it all planned out, the ideas are all in my head. I want to make this special because it’s our very first valentines day together as a couple, I’ve never had a real valentine before, someone that i love and truly care about, that’s why i wan’t this day to go perfectly for the both of us. I’m going to make sure that we have an amazing valentines day together. i can’t wait to surprise you, and i can’t wait to see what your surprise is too. :)

Happy birthday baby boy JUN

2012-02-14T23:19:00.003+08:00

Happy birthday baby boy Jun!

19 years old, finally! :)

Hey baby, hoped you enjoy your day even though we didn't do anything special or exciting :) Dinner turned out better than what i expected, the crowd the noise and the atmosphere! I hoped you love the scrapbook I made for you and the gifts I got.

i don’t get why some girls hate it when other girls wear some makeup.

2012-02-12T20:34:00.000+08:00

what’s it to you if i wear make up? why does wearing it make me a cake face or a fake bitch? i like to wear it because it makes me feel good about myself. your negative input on what i choose to put on my face doesn’t even concern you. sure i like cover up to even out my skin tone. i like to wear eye liner and mascara and blush. call me hideous with or without makeup all you want but make up will never be able to cover up the fact that you have some serious personal insecutities and issues that you choose to lash out on others. calm down and worry about yourself rather than trying to make other people feel bad about things that they have the right to do.

Pre-Valentine

2012-02-12T19:41:00.004+08:00

Checked in at the hotel! Cosy suite at Fort Canning with a view of the city.

Top 12 Signs It’s Time To Move On From A Relationship

2012-02-10T22:44:00.002+08:00

#1. When you live in past memories more than the present.
Do you replay the happy moments of the relationship to make you feel good about it? Do you use them as reasons to continue on with him/her? If so, it’s a sign your current relationship isn’t how you want it to be. I realized the more we live in the past memories and/or a self-created future, the more we are living in a self-created reality. This is dangerous since it’s not reflective of the actual state of the relationship.

You have to remember your relationship with the person exists in the current moment. Not in the past. Past memories should remain as memories and not as a reason to stay together. Your decision on whether to stay with the person should be based on your current feelings for him/her, the actual state of the relationship and the future you see with him/her.

#2. When the relationship brings you more pain than joy.

Sometimes, we tend to be blinded by the past happy moments of the relationship. To the extent we forget about all the unhappiness it brings us. If your relationship leaves you frustrated/upset/unhappy more often than not; If your relationship is leaving you in tears every so often, perhaps this might not be the right person for you. The relationship you are in now should be one which brings you happiness now. Just like #1, if the main source of happiness of your relationship is from past memories, something is amiss.

#3. When he/she expects you to change.
The truest form of love is one that’s unconditional. Your partner shouldn’t expect you to change, unless it’s for your well-being (such as to quit smoking or to adopt a healthier diet). Some of my friends had ex-boyfriends who wanted them to change, such as to dress up more often to look prettier or to lose weight when said friend was of healthy weight. There was even one who actually suggested my friend to shave her arm and leg hair because he felt it a given for girls!
The issue here isn’t about you. The issue isn’t about the change itself either. The issue is about the expectation of you to change. While some requests may start off seemingly normal/benign, they will quickly build on over time. Even as you concede to the requests, more will come. It marks the first step of him/her trying to mold you into his/her expectations of you, rather than you growing into your own.

#4. When you stay on, expecting he/she will change.
The above applies for the other person as much as it applies for you. If you are staying on / getting into the relationship expecting the person to change, you are in this for the wrong reason. You are trying to change the person to fit your expectations, rather than accept him/her as the individual he/she is.

Even if the person does changes, soon you will have something else you want him/her to change. You will never be fully satisfied with how he/she is. The worst thing is, if the other person isn’t conscious, he/she will keep changing just to fit your expectations. In the end, he/she will just end up being your shadow.

This happened between my ex-best friend, K, and me. While we were not in a romantic relationship, some issues we faced in our friendship are probably similar to what others face in their romantic relationships. Through our friendship, I began to see him as an extension of me, rather than as a separate individual. K did not have a very strong self-identity at the time, so unfortunately he kept changing to fit what I wanted. In the end, he was became my shadow. After 10 years of friendship, we had to part ways, because it was the better path for us to grow as individuals – for him to grow into his own, and for me to grow into my own as well.

#5. When you keep justifying his/her actions to yourself.
Whenever we experience a situation we’re uncomfortable about, we experience cognitive dissonance. It refers to the discomfort from being faced with something that conflicts against our beliefs. When this happens, we try to come up with explanations, justifications so we can feel good about the situation.

This if we feel the need to justify an action, that means we are uncomfortable with the action itself and we want to explain away the discomfort. The danger behind this is that the explanations are self-created and may or may not be true. If you are repeatedly justifying his/her actions, the relationship becomes built on your rationalizations, rather than the reality. Likelihood is that you are living in your world of false assurances rather than the truth.

#6. When he/she is causing you emotional/physical/verbal hurt.
Physical and verbal abuse are definite no-no’s. There is clearly something wrong if the other party abuses/hits/curses/swears at you, no matter how he/she tries to make up for it later. Even if it may be the spur of the moment, the fact that he/she lets slip in that moment shows there is something deep inside him/her that needs addressing.

Emotional hurt is trickier. A lot of people negate emotional hurt because it’s not visible. Ignore it, and it’s not there. But emotional hurt is hurt all the same, if not worse. The wounds that are hardest to heal are the emotional ones, not the physical ones.

#7. When the same situation/issue recurs even though you tried addressing it.
Once might be a coincidence. Twice, you might want to give another chance. But 3 times is a clear sign something is wrong

Do you find yourself in replay mode in your relationship? Do you keep landing in the same situation, the same scenario, the same outcome, time and again, no matter what you do? If so, perhaps you need to accept this is the furthest the relationship can get to. You can keep pressing on, but it’s a matter of time before it sinks in that there’s nothing further to go. This is the end of the road. There is a future for you and him/her, and this relationship isn’t the route to that future.

#8. When he/she puts little to no effort in the relationship.
Every relationship requires effort by the duo. The same applies for familial bonds, friendships, mentorships and most definitely love. Both of you have to commit to the relationship together. If you are constantly the one putting in more effort, sooner than later it’ll drain you. You have to give more and more just to keep the relationship afloat. Unless this imbalance is addressed, it will only become bigger and bigger over time. Soon you sink your whole self into it, losing your self identity in the process.

When you see relationships where one is investing way more effort than the other, they are usually headed to doomsville. Some of my friends were in such situations. They invested themselves into their relationships and poured in their hearts and souls. Their partners, on the other hand, only put in a fraction of that. They barely cared – it seemed as if the relationship was just a nice add-on to their lives, rather than something they really valued. Soon, said partners began drifting away. My friends kept giving more and more, hoping they could salvage the situation. This only slowed down breaking off process but didn’t prevent it.

Don’t get me wrong – it is possible for a relationship to last even when one party is putting in more effort than the other. However, are you prepared to do that for the rest of your life? Is your ideal relationship partner someone who doesn’t care to invest as much effort into the relationship as you? I personally think all of us deserves someone who treasures us fully, who wants to be with us as much as we want to be with us. To have it any other way is like having a car with a tyre busted – it’ll keep moving in a slant until it eventually drives off the cliff.

#9. When your fundamental values and beliefs are different.
For any friendship or relationship to work out, there has to be certain similarity in fundamental values. Similarity in these values are the big rocks which will hold the friendship in place. Even if other things are dissimilar, the big rocks will enable the friendship to weather through even the toughest storms ahead.

#10. When the relationship holds you back, hence preventing both of you from growing as individuals.
A relationship is ultimately a third entity formed due to two individuals. Every relationship evolves based on how both parties are growing. Sometimes both parties grow at the same pace. There are times where the relationship is one of stagnancy, where both parties don’t grow. Then there are times when one outgrows the other, by a large margin.
When this happens, you have two options (i) change the dynamics of the relationship to fit this new development, or change yourself to maintain the same dynamics. As I shared above, it’s most important to first be true to ourselves. Determine who you are and who you want to be, then decide if this relationship is one that is compatible with you. A relationship that hinders you from growing into your own isn’t the best one for you. On top of that, if you are not able to grow into your own, chances are your partner is facing a similar blockage as well. A real relationship should be one that enables you in your personal life journey, so you can then enable your partner in his/her life journeys as well.

#11.When you stay on, expecting things to get better.
This is similar to #1, except it pertains to the future. Just like how you don’t live in the past, you don’t live in the future. You can hope that the future will be better, but the fact is you live now. If the only thing that’s making you hold on is the hope of a better future, the relationship isn’t exactly built on solid grounds. The future you wish for is one of the many possibilities that can occur, a possibility that may never come to reality. It’s dangerous to base the fate of the relationship on something that might not occur. A building built on a shaky foundation will crash to an unsightly end when the foundation gives way.

#12. When neither of you feel the same way about each other.
Things change. People change. If the feelings are no longer there, it’s time to move on. Some of you might linger on in a relationship even though the feelings are gone. Perhaps it has become part of your routine and you don’t know what to do once you break away. Some of you continue on because the relationship still serves certain functional purposes, such as companionship.
Yet, a relationship without the mutual feelings is like a body without a heart. There’s no soul or life in it. If you no longer have feelings for the other party, staying on is doing the other person an injustice. More importantly, it’s doing you a huge injustice. It’s best for him/her and you to part ways so you can move to better places.

If the other person doesn’t have feelings for you anymore, holding on to him/her only drags out the misery. Realize that “True love doesn’t have a happy ending, because true love never ends. Letting go is one way of saying I love you.” Just because you love the person doesn’t mean you have to be with the person. True love exists outside of the physical fabric of a relationship. This is just a form of expression of love, but in no way is the single definition of love.

I’ll end off this post with a final quote:
There are things that we never want to let go of, people we never want to leave behind. But keep in mind that letting go isn’t the end of the world, it’s the beginning of a new life.– Author Unknown

2012-02-10T10:48:00.000+08:00

Trust

2012-02-08T10:15:00.000+08:00

If I could explain love in one word, it would have to be trust.  Trust that he doesn’t cheat on you, trust that he doesn’t lie to  you, trust that he really likes you, trust that he will always be  there for you, trust that he can go to a party and not get high  or drunk, trust that you don’t have to worry about him breaking  up with you the second you wake up, trust that he will stick up  for you, trust that he will never fall in love with another girl,  trust that he won’t just get sick of you, and trust that he  wants you like you want him.

Us

2012-01-31T00:22:00.002+08:00

Jun,
You make me feel like I’m the most beautiful girl in the world. I love everything you do for me, even the small things. I just want to let you know that I am not going anywhere anytime soon. You are the ideal guy for me and I’m so blessed to have found you at such a young age. You are my rock and without you I dont know what I would be doing with my life. I love you so much, thanks for everything this year and I cant wait to make more memories with you in 2012.

Malaysia's Trip

2012-01-31T00:18:00.001+08:00

Being Comfortable

2012-01-31T00:15:00.001+08:00

I love how sometimes I forget I’m not wearing any makeup when I’m webcamming with my boyfriend and he doesn’t even care how I look. He still thinks I’m beautiful when I feel really insecure about how I look. Also when I wear the most hideous outfits, he still thinks I look cute andsays I look cute everyday. Sometimes I would fart thinking he wouldn’t hear but he does haha and he still doesn’t care how disgusting i am. I like how we can make the ugliest faces to each other and not care how ugly we are. I just love how comfortable we are with each other.

today made me realize a lot of different things about our relationship.

2012-01-31T00:04:00.002+08:00

you balance me out, you know when you have to apologize, you know when to put me in my place. i know that we have a lot of different kinds of arguments, up to the point where sometimes i just break down because i’m so afraid to lose you. one thing that i’ve learned from you is that i can’t ever let the thought of breaking up into my mind because we both don’t want that to happen. i couldn’t picture myself being with anyone else but you and i know that you’re the one for me. i’m not too young and naive to realize it and i know you believe that too. today made me realize just how strong our relationship is and i know that we’re not going to give up on what we have over stupid little things. seeing you upset today only made me upset and i hate that it’s probably how you feel every time i feel sad. i’m glad you stayed with me and said the right things. i’m glad you didn’t stop trying until you knew i was okay. i’m glad the way you know how when i say “i’m fine.” you know i’m lying. i’m sorry i do that though, i know that i should just be upfront about how i’m feeling but sometimes i don’t want you to worry. i love you so much and it gives me the biggest reassurance to hear you say that you don’t ever want us to stop being together. today made me realize that we’ve got such a great relationship, despite all of the fights, arguments, disagreements, and misunderstandings, not once has the thought of ending our relationship crossed your mind. it shows me that you want us to work just as much as i do, and maybe that’s why we’ve accomplished so much in the short amount of time that we’ve been together, and i love you for every single bit of it.

Valentine's

2012-01-30T23:51:00.002+08:00

My boyfriend surprised me during the weekends when he had FarEastFloral sent me a bouquet of 99 roses in red and white along with a card asking me out for Valentine's.

Happy 4th Monthsary

2012-01-26T23:42:00.002+08:00

If someone would ask me what a beautiful life means, I would lean my head on your shoulder, hold you close to me and answer with a smile, 'like this.' You know baby, if you ask me how much I love you, I won't say anything. I'll just take your hand, fill the gaps between your fingers and hold on to you until all your doubts are gone.

Marry Me

2012-01-25T23:51:00.000+08:00

in the past, i’ve had a bad record for some pretty shitty relationships.

2012-01-25T23:47:00.002+08:00

i’ve been led on, i’ve been lied to, i’ve been under-appreciated. i’ve been dumped right after my birthday, i’ve been the girl that they didn’t care to introduce to their parents, i’ve been disrespected, dumped right before christmas, made to feel like crap on my own birthday, then broken up with right before valentines day. i’m not saying all of this to make you feel bad for me, i’m telling you this because if i can get back up on my feet again after getting treated like that, then you can do it too. no one should be treated the way i have in the past and i was never going to let that happen again. i wasn’t going to let that stop me from believing in love either. look where it got me. a wonderful boyfriend and an absolutely amazing relationship. it’s a love that people say “inspires” them, i have a boyfriend that’s also my best friend. i’m so in love with someone that’s just as in love with me, someone that says we’re going to last. that’s what you deserve and that’s what you will find, just don’t stop looking for it.

Let's just start over

2012-01-24T00:30:00.000+08:00

That moment when you just realize you need to start over. Things just aren’t the same for you anymore. You’re just itching for a new start but there’s always that something that keeps you from that. You just wanna move to another city. Live in a new environment. Make new friends. Meet new people. Change your ways, how you act, how you eat etc. Isolate yourself from the people who judge you. Get away from all the two-faced bitches in your life. Be away from all the negativity around you. You just wanna start over with your life.

Darling

2012-01-24T00:25:00.000+08:00

The best part of having a relationship is getting to call the person or lay down next to them and tell them all the crazy things that happened to you all day long. And in the end that’s what it’s about, kids. It’s not about the sex, it’s not about the money that they give you or whatever. It’s not about how good-looking they are, it’s about, can they listen to you talk for hours and hours and hours about stupid shit that doesn’t matter. And if they can, then you’re meant to be together forever. Even if that means you have to call them 100 times, that’s okay.

I’m scared of losing my parents.

2012-01-22T20:55:00.000+08:00

I know I’m taking my parents for granted. Seeing them do so much for me… and what do I give them in return? A huge attitude and complaints with doing favors for them.. I have just got to realize that I could lose my parents in just a second, or at any unexpected moment… I don’t know what I would do without them.

Be There for Her

2012-01-22T20:48:00.002+08:00

When your girlfriend is coming to you crying, support her. Don’t tell her that crying shows weakness and tell her to suck it up. Crying is weakness… so that’s an excuse to brush your girlfriend off and give her shit for hurting? If you can’t support her, just know that someone out there who would want to be in your position and actually try to make her happy.

Me.

2012-01-22T20:37:00.000+08:00

I’m the kind of girl who is quiet in large groups or around people I don’t know; you only see the real me if we’re close. I smile and laugh a lot, especially at the most inappropriate times. I’m a hopeless romantic. I trip over air, up stairs, and over people’s feet. I am the hardest person to offend, but it is all too easy to make me feel horrible. I hate telling people about my problems; they don’t need to worry about me. I’m the one who listens to other people’s problems. I believe people should not be judged before one takes the time to get to know them, yet I am guilty of doing that exact thing. I love to think rather than talk. I’m awkward, clumsy, shy, strange… but this is me. Take it or leave it.

Stuck up and bitchy.

2012-01-22T20:36:00.000+08:00

for the past couple months i just haven’t been ‘myself’ lately or so i think. i’ve been really mean and bitchy to people and kinda rude too. at the moment i don’t realize it but once it passes, i think back of what i did or said to people & i feel really bad about it. I don’t know what’s going on with me right now but i need to get my shit together. I think one of the main things that triggered this was when someone called me ‘stuck up’ i’m guessing they were saying it jokingly but when i really thought of it, i really am kind of stuck up. I know i’m not supposed to care what people think of me but i don’t want to be viewed as a stuck up & bitchy person…

I’m so jealous

2012-01-22T20:29:00.001+08:00

of the couples that get to see each other everyday.. the ones that get to see their loved one in under 5 minutes just by making a call. The ones that can see each other everyday at school, every sunday at church, and any other place they can see their loved one constantly.

This distance between me and my boyfriend sucks. Believe me it’s worth the fight, but it just sucks knowing that you can’t see them as much as you’d like.

Comparing Myself

2012-01-22T10:45:00.001+08:00

I don’t know why I do this but I always compare myself to other girls. I try not to but I still end up doing it. I know I shouldn’t be doing this but I just always have that insecure feeling about myself when I see a pretty girl. When I’m doing this, my thoughts are always negative, like oh she’s way prettier than me or she’s skinnier than me etc. I always tend to put myself down. Like when you’re talking to some guy you like but he’s talking to this other girl that you think is way prettier than you, so you start comparing yourself to her constantly. Or when you see your boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend, you start comparing yourself to her and that just makes your insecurities even worse…

The Little Things

2012-01-20T09:04:00.001+08:00

i love the little things that he leaves for me to see on my phone while i’m in work. :) he always knows how to make me smile. my boyfriend is such a keeper. <3

To infinity.. and beyond.

2012-01-19T23:58:00.003+08:00

Holding hands may seem like an innocent gesture, but they show more than a simple interlocking of fingers. Your hands are one of the most essential parts of your body: you build with them, feed with them, fight with them; they are the tools of the human body. To take a hold of another's hand is to break from living individually. It is to link yourself to another being, to momentarily entwine your life with another's, to promise, for a moment, that you need not face the world alone. More simple, more aesthetically naive than other forms of affection, i.e. kissing, hugging, sexing.. the act of holding hands is often trivialized in its true implications.

there are times where i’ll just start stupid fights for no reason at all.

2012-01-19T09:23:00.002+08:00

it’s just this really annoying habit that i have. i don’t do it on purpose, but i guess i just have this bitchy side to me where if i get annoyed and things don’t go the way i want, i begin to be a brat about it. it’s really bad and i hate this about myself. it’s not like this all the time. but once in a blue moon, i’ll act up this way and fail to realize how idiotic i’m actually being. during these moments i have to stop myself and think, “why am i doing this” “what is the reason for this” “why am i starting a fight over nothing” then after asking myself those questions, i don’t really have a good reason. it’s just my hormones taking over, being moody over spilled milk, and it ends up just putting us both in a bad mood. rather than just enjoying each others company, we sit there annoyed and aggravated at each other. i need to stop being like this, it’ll only push people away.

mentally prepared myself of the fact we won’t see each other as much.

2012-01-19T09:19:00.003+08:00

yeah, it sucks but it’s just something we’re going to have to work through. work's going to be really busy, and unless i come by in the middle of the night to see you, i know we won’t have the same luxury as we had in the past. seeing each other every weekend won’t be very likely but i guess after being together for nearly half a year, i’m confident enough that it’s not going to be as hard anymore. i know that whenever we do find the time to see each other, it will only make it that much more special.

Downtown Disney Proposal

2012-01-16T08:54:00.002+08:00

Crying my eyes out. This is the most cutest thing ever. Dear future husband, please take note!

My type of guy

2012-01-15T02:37:00.000+08:00

I’ve met this type of guy, a guy I like very much. Actually, I’d call it love. Let me tell you a little bit about him. By just looking at him, you’ll smile no matter how angry you are. Every time he walks you to the car, he’ll open the car door for you. Every time he walks you anywhere, he’ll open the door for you. Whenever you walk on the sidewalk, he makes sure that you are walking on the inside so he can protect you from cars passing by. And when you go up an escalator, he always stands on the step behind you just so he can catch you if you fall back. And when you’re going down an escalator, he always stands on the step in front of you so he can catch you if you trip forward. He’s the kind of guy that will surprise you when you’re having bad days and make good days even better. Someone who’ll reassure you that chivalry isn’t dead. He’ll treat you like a princess because he’s definitely prince charming. He’s the type of guy who cared enough to break down all your walls. And once you let him in, he chose to stay. That’s just the type of guy he is.

i want to travel around the world by feet with you

2012-01-15T02:21:00.001+08:00

Baby's birthday is comingg (In a months' time) :) i've got his second gift all settled whats missing now is his party. Baby i know these few days have been rather rough. We may seem to be the most perfect couple in many people's eyes but what they don't know is that it is through these quarrells and little setbacks that bring us closer and closer to each other. I'm glad to have such a forgiving and generous boyfriend.

Jun

2012-01-15T01:27:00.001+08:00

i love the fact that you don’t mind taking pictures with me. if i turn my camera on and point it at you, you’ll make a silly face or smile at me. you know how much i love taking pictures but you also know that i love taking pictures with you even more. i love being able to capture our moments and all of that because it helps me remember even more clearly all the good times we’ve had. you don’t mind driving out to a place where the scenery is beautiful. you’ll throw in ideas on where the picture would be best taken and then we both look through the pictures together and pick out our favorite ones at the end. i know a lot of girls would love to have a boyfriend that loves to take cute couple pictures with them and i’m so lucky that i have you for that babe. :)

Boyfriend

2012-01-15T01:09:00.002+08:00

"The best relationship is when you two can act like lovers and best friends. It's when you have more playful moments than serious moments. It's when you can joke around, have unexpected hugs, and random kisses. It's when you two can give each other that specific stare and just smile. It's when you'll rather chill inside to watch movies, eat junk food, and cuddle than go out all the time. It's when you'll stay up all night just to settle your arguments and problems. It's when you can completely act yourself and they can still love you for who you are. "

A Walking Wreck

2012-01-14T17:21:00.000+08:00

Yeah, that’s pretty much how I feel 95% of the time. Throughout the day I try to keep myself busy but in the back of my head I know that the littlest situation or word can make me break. I feel like I’m walking on eggshells, like I’m so fragile and sensitive. I try so hard to let things go and to just go with the flow but it’s just so hard for me. I’m intact most of the day but sometimes I just feel like I can break down into tears any second.

Do you know how hard is it to carry that burden around with you everywhere you go? Do you know how hard it is to tell yourself that you don’t care when your heart is screaming that you do? Do you know how hard it is to get your mind off of things when those certain things are permanently planted in your head? It’s difficult, no.. It’s more than difficult to convince yourself that you’re okay when in reality, you’re far from it.

Not in the best mood today

2012-01-14T17:14:00.001+08:00

Today? Who am I kidding, more like every damn night. I think too much, my emotions take over me, my feelings are too strong they can’t be ignored. I just want to escape. Drive to somewhere to clear my head. Take a walk. Isolate myself just for a few, just to gather everything so I can try to make sense of what’s left. I’m like a ticking time bomb. The slightest things set me off. I honestly can’t keep feeling this way. All I can ever say is, “I’m done” or “I quit” because I just want it all to be over. Why can’t things just go back to the way it used to be and STAY THAT WAY?

100th Post

2012-01-14T17:10:00.000+08:00

When I say I love you, I mean it with every bit of my body, with every hair on my skin, with every cell making me up, with every breath I take.When I say I love you, I mean I love you with every bad mood you’re in, every tear you shed, everything you don’t do but should, every white lie you tell people, with every sad story from your past, with every flaw you might have. When I say I love you, I mean I love you with every smile you put on my face, with every laugh you tickle out of me. When I say I love you, I mean it with every fibre my body is made up of, with every molecule I consist of. When I say I love you, I mean it.

Japan

2012-01-10T20:54:00.006+08:00

i hope you keep your promises because they mean everything to me.

2012-01-10T20:45:00.001+08:00

i am constantly trying to think positive and remain optimistic, but sometimes the line between that and expecting too much gets blurred. i don’t know how to feel sometimes. i don’t know if i’m getting my hopes up or if i can justify that for being extremely optimistic about us. i really do have faith in this relationship though, in everything we’ve become, in everything we are, and everything that we’ve been through. i can’t picture myself being without you and i can’t picture either of us being with anyone else. i have meant every promise i have ever made to you and i hope you mean all your promises too. i have fallen in love with every single part of you, all your flaws and imperfections, despite the bad fights and the crying and the disagreements, i still want to be with you for as long as possible.

i want to be optimistic about us, but at the same time remain realistic and be prepared for whatever could happen. i don’t want to look back on our relationship and notice a change for the worse, i don’t want one person to stop trying. i want us to keep growing and learning about each other. i want us to keep falling for each other more and more each day. i guess all i can do is hope for the best, pray that we keep our promises, and continue this loving and happy relationship that we’ve built in the past couple of months because i know that we’re capable of having a really good future life together.

Losing Myself

2012-01-10T20:44:00.000+08:00

I used to think that as long as I had myself, I could take on anything in the world. Because people disappoint. And honest to God, I really didn’t need anymore of that. I didn’t want to count on anybody to see me through, because they were going to let me down anyway. All I had to do was muster all the strength I could possibly squeeze out of my tiny being and trudge on with life. But I think I’m losing myself and I’m not sure I’ll ever find me again.

Very damn true

2012-01-10T20:42:00.001+08:00

For all the girls out there

2012-01-07T22:04:00.000+08:00

It is so nice to hear people say, “you two make a really great couple.”

2012-01-06T17:49:00.002+08:00

We both know we make each other people happy, but for other people to acknowledge that as well is such a good feeling. I love knowing that we’ve got so much support, with all our friends, our family, and especially each other. It really makes our relationship that much better. It’s that extra driving force that brings in all this happiness into our lives. Even with everyone that’s been following me for a while, i really do read all the messages and comments, and they never cease to put a smile on my face. It means a lot to me that you guys believe in us just as much as we do. As long as you’ve got people behind you, telling you that you’ve got a real good thing going for you, you know you’ve found that one thing that everyones looking for. You’ve found that connection with a person that makes you feel so complete and so happy, it’s a connection so strong that even all the other people around you can tell how amazing it is. I’ve found it in him, this level of happiness that i’ve never been able to grasp before. I’m sure as hell the happiest that i have ever been in my life.

At the end of the day, it’s always going to be you.

2012-01-04T15:21:00.000+08:00

I may be super busy during day. Back to back events and things. I may not have time to pull out my phone to send you a text or give you a call but I hope you understand that it’s nothing personal. When I’m busy, I just have to do what I have to do. But I want you to remember that at the end of the day, as I lay in bed.. My thoughts, my wonders all include you.

2012-01-04T15:02:00.000+08:00

Hello 2012

2012-01-02T15:22:00.004+08:00

goodbye 2011, hello 2012. :) thank you for making the past year so memorable and amazing. from our car rides to get food, baking chocolate cake, deep conversations, gossip girls moviethon, piggyback rides, taking naps together, kisses, shopping together, movie dates, everything. you have made this year so wonderful for me. thank you for everything this year, putting up with me despite all the arguments and misunderstandings. thank you for being patient with me and tolerating me when i’m on my crazy mood swings. thank you for being my first and last love as well as my best friend.

Dear Junwen

2012-01-01T18:41:00.001+08:00

It’s easy to be with someone when things are great between you two. But when you stick it out through bad times and hard times, i think those are the moments where you really get to find out how strong your relationship actually is. No couple has a relationship filled with perfect moments and only those, there are going to be tough times where you really need to communicate in order to get through it. We both have flaws in our personalities, but no matter how tough or difficult the situations get or how bad someones mistake can be, we’ve always managed to find a way to get through it. I’m not going to give up on this because i know you’re fighting for it too. I know you believe in us just as much as i do.

There will always be some bumps in the road, i don’t know where life is going to take us, but i know where i want to end up. And that is to be with you. As long as you’re trying, i will too. After all the stuff we’ve gone through, we’ve managed to resolve it all and come out with an even stronger relationship than before… and i think that’s the most important part. i love you so much.

Reflecting 2011

2012-01-01T18:03:00.007+08:00

This year was stressful. There were many firsts (naval piercing), lasts, and never - agains. I got hurt and I admit I did some hurting on my own. I’ve met some amazing people and also met the love of my life - Junwen and lost some of my closest friends. Thanks to 2011, I’ve realized that you need to let go of things whether or not they meant something to you. Sometimes, the only way to move forward is to quit backing up. The good news is that I have a whole new year to either eff up or improve.

Relationships

2011-12-30T19:26:00.000+08:00

In the beginning, it’s so simple because you both try to impress each other. The butterflies are constant, you look forward to seeing each other every day. The texts, the phone calls, the dates. But with every relationship there’s always a catch. As the relationship gets serious, so does the commitment. You both are now used to each other, you feel as if you know everything about them.

This is where it branches off. The relationship begins to get boring or it goes off into the same routine every single day. You begin to fight with one another and what once were loving words are now turned into hate. You blame each other for small mistakes that turn into big problems. Before you know it, you’re love begins to fade. Some people resort to cheating or they just break up because of the missing spark or the constant fighting.

The real relationships out there are from the people that fight for each other, they keep the spark going, and they love each other no matter what.

Do you?

2011-12-27T07:44:00.001+08:00

Dude do you really love your girlfriend? Because if you did, you wouldn’t be calling other girls cute or asking for other girls numbers and shit. Just because she isn’t there and you’re with your boys doesn’t mean you’re fucking single. If you don’t love her then stop telling her what she wants to hear because she probably deserves a lot more then fake love she needs the real thing.

2011

2011-12-26T19:11:00.001+08:00

It’s been such a tough year. I’ve changed so much over the year it scares me sometimes. So many people walked in and out of my life. I’ve made new friends and new enemies. But most importantly, I met the love of my life this year - Jun Wen and I couldn't be more happy. I’ve been involved in all sorts of drama because of my poor choices in my surroundings. I’ve learned who my true friends are and the ones I can really count on. There were moments I regret and the ones I’d love to relive. There were times where I couldn’t stop smiling and times where I couldn’t stop my tears. But most importantly, I’ve learned that time flies, fast.

Flirting

2011-12-23T19:23:00.000+08:00

You give up the privilege of flirting with other people when you are in a relationship. you don’t flirt with others when you are clearly dating someone. why make your “significant other” worry about you being with others? how are they going to have any security and faith in you? you can either be single and freely flirt with whomever else thats single or you can stay with your other half. and if you need to hesitate between the two, you’ve already decided to give up on the relationship.

Christmas Spirit

2011-12-23T09:51:00.000+08:00

We are so close to Christmas but it doesn’t feel like it at all. This year, Christmas is so dead. Usually everyone’s all jolly and excited once December comes around. It was all about having fun in the snow, drinking hot chocolate, spending time with family and friends, and all the pretty decorations at night. Now It’s all about buying gifts for each other and getting the gifts you want. There’s less decorations now and there’s no more Christmas spirit.

It gets better

2011-12-18T19:35:00.001+08:00

This is for the people that tell the world 'I'm okay' when their own world is crashing down on them. For those that keep losing, that feels as if life hates them. For those who give up their own happiness to help others. For those having a bad day, a bad break-up. For those who are abused, traumatized, scared. This is for those that have thought about ending their life prematurely. Razors to their wrists, pills down their throats, and nooses around their necks. This is for those that can't be stronger any longer, for my people that have lost all hope.

It gets better, I promise. Happiness will shine on you, if you only remember to turn on the light.

Just Ranting

2011-12-17T23:03:00.003+08:00

I really can’t stand whiny girls. Not in the high pitched voice way, but the nagging, ungrateful sort of way. When girls constantly complain that their guy doesn’t buy them this and that or when they hint it to their guy to buy them an extravagant gift.. Smh. Really?! Be grateful your guy makes his own money, don’t take it away from him. I’m sure he’ll love to spoil you with gifts without having to hear it from you. Or there’s another alternative. If YOU want something why don’t YOU get it for yourself instead of waiting around for your guy to buy it for you. I’m just ranting.

Christmas

2011-12-17T23:02:00.000+08:00

My nails are ready for Christmas!

Moments

2011-12-17T22:58:00.001+08:00

Thanks for always being there for me.

The Strange Thing About The Johnsons

2011-12-17T12:50:00.001+08:00

This is the most disturbing, twisted, sick, psychotic and uncomfortable (short) film that I have ever watched. With that said, considering the affect that it is supposed to have, it was well executed. It was, for me, like watching a really scary horror film, though it’s a psycho-thriller, it seems. I haven’t been this fearful in a long time. I was on the edge of my seat for reasons that I never want to be on the edge of my seat again. I would never watch it again. I am sure of it, but not because it is a bad film: It is an excellent film. It was just way too much for me to handle. But, I do think it’s well worth viewing. It’s an bold twist on a tragic, but prevelant situation. It’s something that you would never expect. Here’s the IMDB description:

“The Johnsons are an attractive, well-to-do, upper-middle class family. Sidney, husband and father, is a famous poet, known and adored for his kindness and sensitivity. Joan, wife and mother, is a dutiful housewife, an obsessive homemaker and the life of every party. Their son, Isaiah, is a charismatic young man who has just gotten married to an equally appealing young woman. In fact, there is only one thing that separates the Johnsons from their charming friends and neighbors: Isaiah, the son, has been molesting Sidney, the father, since he was twelve years old.”

Be Careful

2011-12-11T01:37:00.000+08:00

It is late nights like this that are the worst. You stay up all night and can’t get yourself to fall asleep, so all you do is think. Think about everything. Everything that you have been through in your life. And as always, it’s mostly the bad things that stand out the most. You reminisce the good times you’ve had with people that no longer exist in your life. You think about how much happier you used to be and how everything was better before. It’s nights like this when you realize just how lonely you are, and how you wish that things would be alright for once.

True Love

2011-12-11T01:17:00.002+08:00

I could write forever about him. I really could. If only I could write my feelings. I miss him so much. I sleep with the stuffed animal bear that he bought me for 11:11:11 every night. I also say goodnight to him every night too, as if he was with me.

We’ve already planned out part of our future together. I tell him all the time that I will stick with him no matter what. I’m his. Forever. I can undoubtedly say that I’m in love with him. I’ve never met anyone who has meant as much to me as he does. I trust him with everything. I trust him to do things that I would never trust anyone else. I’m completely comfortable being myself around him. He makes me myself. I don’t have to hide anything from him. I would never be comfortable with doing the things that I’ve done with him, with anybody else. I can’t even imagine trusting anybody as much as I trust him. I don’t think it’s possible. He was there for me during the hardest time in my life. He’s adorable. He always tries to make me the happiest that I can possibly be, and I try my best to do the same for him. I really do love him.

New Shoes

2011-12-09T19:43:00.002+08:00

Yours

2011-12-07T23:05:00.000+08:00

I tend to view the world with some sort of cynicism. I don’t gel well with people I’ve just met because I feel socially awkward around them. Sometimes, I can’t tell if I’m really that way or I make myself out to behave that way as a defense mechanism. Maybe both. I don’t really trust myself or people around me to let my guard down. I feel like the things I say or do may someday be used against me. I am nervous, my fight or flight mechanism is perpetually in overdrive.

Then there are certain people who come into my life and somehow manage to break my walls down, slowly but surely. And then the words are tumbling out of my mouth too quick and before I know it my entire being - my feelings, my thoughts, my memories, my secrets, my heart.. Everything is suddenly theirs to keep, to safeguard.

And then I get scared. Because those are the people who always end up leaving me, taking parts of me I never get back again.

Grey's Anatomy

2011-12-04T18:03:00.001+08:00

Meredith: There is a reason I said I'd be happy alone. It wasnt because I thought I would be happy alone. It was because I thought if I loved someone and then it fell apart, I might not make it. It's easier to be alone. Because what if you learn that you need love? And then you don't have it. What if you like it? And lean on it? What if you shape your life around it? And then it falls apart? Can you even survive that kind of pain? Losing love is like organ damage. It's like dying. The only difference is, death ends. This? It could go on forever . .

What i’ve learned.

2011-12-02T08:37:00.000+08:00

I must say, I have learnt a lot in life. I’ve grown up and gradually I’m becoming more of a mature person, especially with my decisions. I have been through a lot in my teenage years, and I’ve learnt from every mistake I made. My life could’ve been so different right now if I stayed to be that other person from my past. That’s why I’m glad to be the person that I am now. I have my Family who will always love and support me, enough Friends to listen and speak out for me and most especially a Boyfriend who is my partner in crime and my everything! Life is going well for me. I still make mistakes and so does everyone. Nobody is ever perfect!

Other thing is..

Life is short, you will never know what will happen today, tomorrow and the other days. So enjoy every moment of it while you can!

2nd monthsary

2011-11-27T23:11:00.003+08:00

You ever been with someone, and you just know they’re exactly what you want? Everything about them makes you happy, you can’t help but smile when you think about that person, and it hurts to be away from them? When you’re with them, you don’t want to leave them, and when you leave you always have those four more good bye kisses? Where you just can’t help but laugh at everything they say? And despite everything you guys have been through, you know that they’ll never leave you, but you’re still cautious because you don’t want to lose them? You know they’re your everything, and they’re yours? You know exactly where you want to be with them, and you’re determined to stay there? They’re everything you hoped for and everything you dreamed of having? You don’t care what anyone else thinks, because they’re all you think about? When you find yourself changing for that person?

Well, that’s all how I feel about you, you're everything to me <3 I love you Jun. Happy second monthsary!

That moment

2011-11-19T11:55:00.001+08:00

You know that feeling when you’re with someone and you just wish that time could stop for that special moment, cause everything feels so right. When everything else around you becomes a blur. You get all giddy inside whenever that person makes you smile or say something sweet. Yeah those are the moments i live for. <3

I Self Harm

2011-11-17T11:58:00.003+08:00

I started self-harming about five years ago. I had a terrible fight with my then best friend and this set it off. It wasn't a serious row; it was quite a silly one to be honest. However, I think this triggered off a lot of my self-esteem issues. I had a really hard time at school and was bullied a lot and I ended up finding it hard to get close to people. My feelings of self worth vanished again after the argument and in order to combat this I started to cut myself. Not seriously at first; surface marks more than anything else.

My main method of self-harm was cutting, although, I'm quite a clumsy person and I knew how easily I bruised so I used to hit my hand against the wall too. This was nowhere near as effective as cutting. At one stage it got so serious that during the holidays I would cut every morning, in the afternoon and then before going to bed. Sometimes I would do it more than three times a day. I was also quite obsessed with how deep the cuts were. The worse I felt, the deeper they had to be. Sometimes if they weren't deep enough then I would go over them again. I cut my legs because they were the easiest places to hide them. If things got bad and I couldn't wait until I actually took my trousers off then I would cut my arm but wear long sleeves until they healed.

The act of self-harm:

My preferred weapon was a razor blade. I would buy cheap razors and break them up so that I would get the blade out. I also had a wee Stanley knife that I carried with me at all times so that I would feel secure and safe. I knew that if I had it then nothing could hurt me.

Immediately before I self-harmed I would feel numb, completely numb. The whole point of cutting was to actually try and be aware of something again because it often seemed like I didn't actually feel anything. It was quite a weird sensation. Sometimes I also felt quite detached. At times it was as if I was actually watching myself live my life, as if I was watching a film, I didn't actually feel real and nothing around me did either.

When I was cutting I never cared about how much damage I inflicted on myself. The more the better. However, I was always careful to avoid veins and arteries. Self-harm, in my opinion, was not about dying or trying to kill yourself, it was about feeling alive; if I felt a bit of pain then I knew that I existed. During my dark times the cutting never inflicted any pain. I was numb to it all but I wanted to feel - that was the whole point. Whenever I cut, all I could think about was the anguish inside me.

Straight afterwards I always felt relieved. I felt as if I could face living again, I could cope with any silly little problem like not knowing what I could have for dinner or that I had missed the bus. It made me feel 'real' again.

Later I always felt embarrassed about it. I used to do my utmost to try and hide it from others; if this meant wearing jumpers in the summer then that's what I did. I never wore a skirt that would reveal anything. It is only now, five years after I first cut myself that I actually feel comfortable wearing anything that may show some of my scars. The embarrassment was horrible as I felt completely alone and isolated. I never realised how common it actually was.

Alone:

I pushed so many people away from me. I used to hide in my room and wait for the flat to empty before I would even consider making food or even go to the bathroom. I avoided phone calls. I always pretended I wasn't in. If I saw someone I knew on the street then I would cross the road so that I wouldn't have to speak to them. I became lost in my own world of destruction.

Talking about it:

I became more open about it all and now people do know about my self-harm. It was a hard step to take because it forced me to accept I had a problem. All my friends have been fantastic and they have all offered to help me. The best form of support that they can give me is the knowledge that they are there for me. The friends that have tried to push their active support onto me are no longer my friends, because I pushed their support away so much that they took offence. I found it extremely difficult when people were forcing their help onto me and were forcing me to try and accept their opinions and suggestions. Deep down I know that they were just looking out for me but I resented that.

Distraction:

The best distraction that has helped me is diversion. If I feel the need to cut now then I leave my flat. I will go and sit in the park or go to Starbucks and sit there or even go to the cinema. This way I am not likely to cut because I will only do it in the privacy of my own flat, whether it is in the bathroom or my bedroom.

Now:

I do not harm as much anymore. I can go three months without cutting but every so often I feel the need and I cannot get rid of the urge. Recently I did cut because I was upset and depressed and going crazy. I get angry with the media cover of self-harm. There are a lot of people who cut because it is seen as cool because celebrities like Marilyn Manson do it. However, there are a lot of people who actually do it because they need to feel a release. They are angry or hurting and don't know how else to release the tension that is building up inside.

There are so many people who do it because it is cool and there is not enough support for the rest of the people who do it for real reasons. People look down on self-harm a lot and just fob it off as attention seeking. However, a lot of self-harmers cut/burn/whatever in private. They don't do it for attention. They don't tell the world that they do it; they self-harm because there is no other way out for them. That was how it was for me.

There is so much that you can and can not do to help people who self-injury. The most important thing is this. Don't criticize. Don't make them feel more shame or guilt. Don't get angry. Don't pity them. They need your help, your guidance, your understanding. They don't need your pity, it will only cause more shame. If you find out your child, or loved one is hurting them-self. Talking to them is the key. No matter how uncomfortable you feel about this, it is 10 times harder for them. Be understanding, listen to them, cry with them if you need. Hug them, hold them and tell them no matter what you love them.

Inhale Love Exhale Hate

2011-11-17T11:54:00.000+08:00

Next time you’re stressed, take a step back, inhale & laugh. Remember who you are & why you are here. You’re never given anything in this world that you cannot handle. Be strong, be flexible, love yourself & love others. Always remember, just keep moving forward.

Forever Mine

2011-11-17T11:51:00.000+08:00

I’m grateful that i have you, I’m grateful that you’re forgiving. I’m not usually selfish, but only with one thing. I’m only selfish when it comes to you because i don’t want to share you. You’re all mines.

Charlotte Wedding

2011-11-17T11:37:00.004+08:00

A cycle that has become familiar to almost everyone.

2011-11-14T11:29:00.002+08:00

You’d encounter a complete stranger, before you know it, you care for that person more than you ever thought you will, later on.. becoming strangers again- from knowing everything there is to know about a person to pretending like you know nothing at all. Then you meet someone new being full of insecurities hoping that the same thing won’t happen again because now you know more than ever how it feels to lose someone you really love. People usually say let go of the ones you love and see if they come running back. But really, I think it should be to never lose grasp of those you love. Always keep them close.

11/11/11

2011-11-11T10:06:00.001+08:00

11/11/11

What's there for me to wish anymore? He is everything that I have ever wanted and more.

Forever Mine

2011-11-09T15:48:00.002+08:00

Till this day, I can still remember how my boyfriend kneeled down in Holland Village and asked me to be his girlfriend with this engagement ring he had it shipped from New York.

Wedding Episodes

2011-11-09T15:31:00.002+08:00

2011-11-09T15:26:00.003+08:00

Jacelyn: What kind of husband can you all find in a club? Def not a good one.

Brian: Well, for me, try not to find a lifetime partner in a club, cos you might end up looking after your babies while he/she is partying at a club.

Love .Vs. Lust

2011-11-09T15:05:00.002+08:00

So how do you tell the difference? When you’re strongly attracted to someone and are feeling desire and longing for them, it’s very easy to confuse this with real love; but it’s not. Lust is purely physical with a need for gratification, and it is driven by hormones. Lust is short term, and love is for the long haul.

If you find a person’s face and body gorgeous, and the things he/she does pushes your buttons, then you have lust, and it feels fantastic; but it’s not love. When the chemicals start to fade from your body, the lust will disappear; and you’ll be wondering what you ever saw in him/her.

Now let’s take a look at love because it’s not just physical attraction. It’s far more than just that.

•1. You have great compatibility. You are sincerely interested in what your partner says and can spend hours just talking.

•2. You want to spend all of your time together, without the involvement of sex.

•3. You see a future together and talk about it seriously.

•4. You introduce him/her to your family and all your friends with great pride, and it is very important to you that they like him/her.

•5. You include your partner in all your plans and consult with him/her for advice on things.

•6. You become more romantic. This is especially true of guys, as girls start out that way anyway. Guys will send flowers and notes, plan romantic evenings, and call just to say they missed you.

•7. If someone says something unkind about your partner, you jump to their defense.

•8. WE becomes more important than ME.

•9. You want to know everything about him/her and you can accept both the good and not-so-good qualities.

•10. You support each other’s interests and encourage them toward their goals.

•11. You have an intense feeling of caring for your partner and only want the best for him/her.

Those Nights…

2011-11-08T13:12:00.001+08:00

Do you ever have those nights where you just lay in bed and think? These thoughts are like poison to your mind, wearing you down mentally and physically. These thoughts that keep you up are just hurting you deep inside and you feel like there’s nothing you can do to subdue these aching thoughts in your head, maybe sometimes you just feel so alone and as much as you try to hold back the tears, you can’t because it just hurts so much. You may feel as if your world is slowly falling apart and your just standing there in the rubble watching it get torn down piece by piece, You just feel so lost and confused and sometimes you just feel like giving up because you just don’t know what to do anymore. You try to smile and be happy, but it’s just so hard because of all these things that are bringing you down and making you tired of everything.. Yeah, I know how that feels.. and I tell myself I’m okay, But I know I’m just lying to myself..

Thank You For Your Love

2011-11-06T09:53:00.000+08:00

You’re always lighting up my heart with the things you do and say. I feel so happy just being with you this way. You’re my baby, and will forever be my baby. Please never give up, always have faith in yourself and you will gain the greatest gift of all, the gift of hope and love you righteously deserve. Every time I think of you my heart misses a beat. You’re my theme for a dream every night. Every moment we share together we grow closer. I’m simply hanging by a moment, waiting to see you so you can hold me so tight that all else fades, Everyday I wake up dreaming of our time together. I will never forget you. I love you with all that I am, all that I was and all that I will ever be. Please know that my love and I are inseparable and I would want it no other way and if time could express my love for you then it’s forever and a day, I can’t wait to be with you, see your smile, look in your eyes, feel your sweet touch, hear your perfect words and kiss your perfect lips. The way I feel about you some people call it crazy, some call it insane, but I call it true love. <3

To the max.

2011-11-01T01:03:00.001+08:00

I am stressed to the point I wanna punch a wall. I wanna tear up my entire room. Throw crap around. Scream into a pillow. Go on a 5 hour walk. Sit down at a park, alone. Listening to the sound of my breath only. Sometimes I wanna yell 'Shut the fuck up'. Breathing in a paper bag. That's so not enough, because I'm stressed to the max.

In Love

2011-11-01T00:53:00.002+08:00

Love.

It's just one of those things you have to experience in order to fully understand the meaning of love. Love, it comes in many form. But this, this is the real thing. In your past relationships, all you've ever felt was pain and jealousy. You were happy at one point and drastically like shit the other. You couldn't help but all up in their business because you didn't want them to chat or break up with you. Well welcome to reality. Now that we're older and more mature than we were back then, you start to understand more. You start to lay off a little bit and give them their personal space. You also learn to trust and have faith in them that they won't do terrible things to you. All of this is based on trust. Whether it's long distanced or not, trust plays a big role in relationships. You will know when you've found your soulmate. Everything will be different and your feelings won't ever change, even if you get into fights and arguments. Because when you do, all you want to do is make up and be fine again. Because when you do, all you want to do is make up and be fine again. Love can be cruel. But when you know, you'll be sucked in and be so in love with love.

This boy here, he makes me feel complete <3 Through our short period of time together, he has made me the happiest girl on earth. It all started with a simple hello and a friendly conversation. I didn't expect to go this far with him, but I'm glad I did. I couldn't have asked for more in my life. Just being able to call him mine completes it.

First Months

2011-11-01T00:44:00.002+08:00

First month surprise from my boyfriend <3

Happy One Monthsary

2011-10-29T12:17:00.002+08:00

I have to admit baby, you would’ve been probably the last person on my mind to have become my boyfriend. You never knew I existed and I didn’t find out about you till you added me up on Facebook and when A was telling me about you. Hahah then you finally said hello on the 4th. Luckily you made the first attempt to talk cause I would have never done it. I thought you were just going be a part of that friend list I have. But thank God you did. Everything fell in to place so quickly, unexpectedly, and all of a sudden to the point that gave me no time to think about the blessing that just occured before my little eyes. You were a chance that I couldn’t surpass, it would have been seriously dumb, selfless, and ignorant of me not to make a response. There’s just so many things to say about you it overwhelms me with such wonderful words that I can’t even put together and leaves me absolutely blank minded. It’s only been a month being your girlfriend but we’ve talked everyday since September 5th. My day is truly incomplete without having a simple conversation with you. Even if it’s just one of those nights we can’t talk for long but still call eachother just to say goodnight and I like you.. but later on that ‘like’ evolved in to love. <3 I love talking to you babe cause you’re so open and you’re not afraid to talk about anything. It makes me comfortable around you, that’s a reason why I got so close easily. And one thing you never fail to do is make me laugh. I know you’re just naturally like that but I still enjoy laughing at the little silly things you say and do. There are certain people who doubt us but the only thing we can do is prove them wrong. There is so much more within the distance that can’t be shown to others, but at least we know and that’s all that matters, from the most random topics we talk about to our deepest conversations. I know at times we both feel as if were running out of energy to keep going. Just know that all we have to do is look forward to the next time we’ll be able to be in eachother’s presence physically. It makes it all worth it and makes up for so much lost times, and honestly.. everyday without you gets harder and every night gets longer. But don’t doubt it, I’ll wait for you as long as you want me to. I wouldn’t know how to let you go. And to let go of the feeling of you loving me, it’s just so much more than anything I could have ever asked for. You make it seem like there is much more importance to everything that I am without effort. Know that I will be here when you need someone. Anytime, any moment, at any second of the day. I’ll give you my time. Besides education, YOU are my priority and you come above all babe. As long as we continue what we do now then we’ll be unbreakable. Our little self imperfections is what makes us perfect together. No matter who comes by; you’ll always be my only one. Happy one monthsary, Jun

2011-10-21T02:12:00.000+08:00

Remember When...

2011-10-17T04:18:00.001+08:00

Have you ever thought that if one thing hadn't happened, a whole set of things never would have either? Like dominoes in time, a single event kicked off an unstoppable series of changes that gained momentum and spun out of control, and nothing was ever the same again. Don't ever doubt that a mere second can change your life forever.

Two Way Street

2011-10-11T19:51:00.000+08:00

If I had my life to live over, I’d dare to make more mistakes next time. I’d relax; I’d limber up. I would be sillier than I have been this trip. I would take fewer things seriously. I would take more chances. I would climb more mountains and swim more rivers. I would eat more ice cream and less beans. I would perhaps have more actual troubles, but I’d have fewer imaginary ones. You see, I’m one of those people who lived sensibly and sanely hour after hour, day after day. Oh, I had my moments, and if I had to do it over again, I’d have more of them. In fact, I’d try to have nothing else. Just moments, one after the other, instead of living so many years ahead of each day. I’ve been one of those persons who never goes anywhere without a thermometer, a hot water bottle, a raincoat, and a parachute. If I had it to do over again, I would travel lighter than I have. If I had my life to live over again, I would start barefoot earlier in the spring and stay that way later in the fall. I would go to more dances; I would ride more merry-go-rounds. I would pick more daisies.

Mr Perfect

2011-10-11T19:36:00.003+08:00

Love isn't about finding someone perfect. Love isn’t about the romantic nights or gifts. It isn’t about fireworks going off around you when you have that first, real, kiss. Love isn’t about kissing in the rain and dancing beneath the stars. It isn’t about the big moments or the big surprises. Love is not a fairytale. Love is about finding someone perfect for you. Love is about still having the butterflies after years. It’s about the second looks and laying in bed wide awake, all night, because you can’t go to sleep mad at each other. It’s about being willing to sacrifice, literally, everything for someone, just because you care so deeply for them. It’s not about buying them gifts, but it’s about leaving them little presents here and there, just to remind them that you are constantly thinking about them. Love is about all of the little things, that add up to really big things. Love is rare and special, but should not be treated as if it will break. Love needs to be thrown around and beat up a little bit, worn in, but not worn down. Love needs to be a comfortable feeling, a place to go when NO ONE else in the world can relate. A safe place, where you know that no matter how ugly you look or how angry you are, you will still be… loved.

I found my Mr. Perfect <3

Never been h a p p i e r .

2011-10-07T01:23:00.001+08:00

Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.

I love us.

Full of Memories.

2011-10-07T01:05:00.002+08:00

It's the little things you do for me that counts.

My boyfriend had this ring shipped all the way from New York, he went down on his knees in the middle of Holland Village, took this ring out and asked me to be his girlfriend on the 27th Sept :')

RIP Steve Jobs

2011-10-07T00:50:00.003+08:00

'Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary' -Steve Jobs

You are my hero not because of how you changed the world. You are my hero because you battled with cancer for 7 years and still did what you loved.

RIP Steve Jobs (1955-2011)

My friends are so much more than just friends

2011-10-04T10:45:00.000+08:00

I have the kind of friends who are always down for me. The kind that always have my back no matter what shit I get into. They’ll always be there to lend a hand. The kind of friends who don’t care what we’re doing so long as we fuck shit up together. The kind that that will go the extra mile to make sure I’m alright. And it doesn’t matter how far our own paths take us, or how long we’re apart. Nothing ever changes between us because we’re more than just friends. We’re family.

Just for a little while

2011-10-04T10:36:00.000+08:00

Lately I have been thinking about a lot of things, about life and time and love and everything else in this world. It’s crazy how the speed of life moves so fast, one moment you think you’ve got it all together, and then a week later back down you go. Ever wonder how you got to where you are? Where did the last ten years of your life go? Does it all seem like a blur to you? One minute you’re learning how to tie your shoe, the next minute you’re on your way to school, before you know it, you’re driving, then you’re getting married, and having a few children, it’s crazy. Sometimes I think we are so focused on large big goals that we always fail to realize the small things. We forget to take notice probably the majority of the time because we live in a society that is fast. Impatience is a quality we love to thrive on.

When you live too fast, you pass by many things and you take it all for granted. We live on such a fast track, that when we actually do stop for a minute or two, we are sometimes dumbfounded. “How did I get here” runs through your mind, “I can’t believe the year is almost over” you know? Please know that every day is special. It could be the happiest day of your life, or your last. Knowing that, why not make your days count? We always rush to make others happy, but let’s make ourselves happy. Take the time to support yourself. You will not only feel physically better, but mentally better as well. Take the time to tell people close to you, that you love them; take the time to start that thing you always wanted to do. Take time out for you, because we have one life to live and you don’t want to miss out on it. After all, “life goes by too fast.”

Forever

2011-10-02T22:06:00.001+08:00

Dear world,

This is my boyfriend, and at this point he really means the world to me. People can go on and run their mouths endlessly saying how stupid we are for falling so hard for each other so early and that we’re still young and that we don’t know any better. Well I want to silence that: it’s all bull shit. No one really knows how to determine the strength of a relationship based off a picture or by watching their actions. It’s by how much the people know how much that person means to them, and this guy right here, Jun Wen, is one definitely worth fighting for. There are times when I tend to act out or whine endlessly, but you take the time to actually ensure that I’m okay and that you’re always there for me.

There’s no absolute way that I can repay him for the countless laughs, the feeling of butterflies on a daily basis, simple cute dates, and most importantly, a solid relationship.

It’s one thing to say “I love you”, and it’s another to truly express it and to turn around knowing that the person knows it too. <3

I love you, J

2011-09-30T23:06:00.002+08:00

You know that quote from The Notebook? “The best love is the kind that awakens the soul, that makes us reach for more.” Jun has awakened my soul and his has intertwined with mine. It’s a rare thing to find a love that makes you feel the way I do at such a young age. It’s even harder to prove to the world that you’re completely serious at our age when you have 14 and 15 year olds saying they, “I love you” and then breaking up with each other the next day. Jun and I have our ups and downs like every relationship, but we don’t run and hide from the lows. We talk about it and work through it because that is something you do when you’re serious about a person. The best kind of love is when he is your best friend first, your boyfriend next. Jun is my best friend, my boyfriend, my equal, my lover and he is my soulmate. I love him deep from my heart with everything that I am and it’s a blessing to know that he feels the same way.

I love you dearly.

Me

2011-09-24T00:34:00.001+08:00

There’s so many things that I’d like to say, but lets keep it simple. I’m the type of person that would give everyone chances. I end up caring too much for something. I’m quiet only when I don’t know you. I’m loud and smiley when I know you. I’m very open when I’m really close to you. I have big dreams, and I’m not going to let anything or anybody stop me from reaching it because I messed up. If I mess up I’m going to be there, stand right back up, try again and again till I get to where I want to be. Life is hard, and life will knock you down more than once for sure, but if you give up right then, what are you? Life is life, and you only have one. Live it up, fuck up, make mistakes, and learn. I’m not dead yet, so I have nothing to lose. I’m an emotional person, I cry, I whine, I bitch. For now, I’m trying to find out where my life is taking me. I thought I knew where I was going, but I’m caught up in a mess of footprints and different paths in front of me. I’m lost. But, I’m still strong. It’s all that matters to me.